1) Never disagree immediately, as it triggers the other person’s defense mode. Instead, listen first and acknowledge common ground before sharing your viewpoint.

2) The best way to learn is to teach, and making daily public commitments to writing reinforces learning.

3) Don’t challenge others’ beliefs directly; instead, introduce new beliefs with clear evidence of their benefits.

“As a Man Thinketh” is a short but powerful book written by James Allen that explores the power of our thoughts and how they shape our lives. The book argues that our thoughts create our reality, and by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.

The book is divided into seven chapters, each of which offers insights into the power of thought. In the first chapter, “Thought and Character,” Allen argues that our thoughts shape our character, and it is through character that we can achieve our goals. He emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for our thoughts and understanding that we have the power to change them.

In the second chapter, “Effect of Thought on Circumstances,” Allen explores how our thoughts create our circumstances. He argues that negative thoughts can attract negative circumstances, while positive thoughts can attract positive circumstances. He emphasizes the importance of cultivating a positive mindset to attract positive outcomes in our lives.

In the third chapter, “The Effect of Thought on Health and the Body,” Allen discusses how our thoughts can impact our physical health. He argues that our thoughts can either promote or hinder our health, and he emphasizes the importance of practicing mindfulness and taking care of our bodies to promote overall well-being.

In the fourth chapter, “Thought and Purpose,” Allen emphasizes the importance of having a clear purpose in life. He argues that having a clear purpose can help us align our thoughts and actions with our goals and aspirations.

In the fifth chapter, “The Thought-Factor in Achievement,” Allen argues that our thoughts are the primary factor in achieving success. He emphasizes the importance of believing in ourselves and our abilities to overcome obstacles and achieve our goals.

In the sixth chapter, “Visions and Ideals,” Allen discusses the importance of having a clear vision for our lives. He argues that having a vision can help us stay motivated and focused on our goals.

In the final chapter, “Serenity,” Allen emphasizes the importance of cultivating inner peace and serenity. He argues that by practicing self-reflection and mindfulness, we can cultivate inner peace and prevent burnout.

Overall, “As a Man Thinketh” is a powerful book that emphasizes the importance of our thoughts in shaping our lives. It offers practical insights and advice for cultivating a positive mindset and achieving our goals and aspirations.

“On a Life Well Spent” is a collection of essays and speeches by the renowned Roman philosopher Cicero. These writings are centered around the concept of living a life of meaning and fulfillment, and provide valuable insights into how one can achieve personal happiness and success.

Cicero believed that a life well spent was one that was guided by certain virtues, including wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation. He argued that these virtues were not only important for achieving personal happiness but were also necessary for maintaining a just and stable society.

One of the key themes in Cicero’s writings is the idea that true happiness is not found in material possessions or external achievements, but rather in the cultivation of inner virtues. He believed that individuals who were able to live according to these virtues would be able to achieve a sense of inner peace and contentment that could not be obtained through external means.

Throughout the book, Cicero offers practical advice on how to live a virtuous life. He stresses the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement, and encourages readers to cultivate habits and practices that promote personal growth and development.

Cicero’s writings also contain a strong emphasis on the importance of moral and ethical behavior. He believed that individuals had a responsibility to act in accordance with their moral principles, and that doing so was essential for building a just and peaceful society.

Overall, “On a Life Well Spent” is a valuable read for anyone interested in philosophy, self-improvement, and the pursuit of personal happiness and fulfillment. Cicero’s ideas and insights are still relevant today, and his writings continue to inspire and challenge readers to live their best lives.

“Deep Work” by Cal Newport offers a compelling argument for the value of deep work and provides practical strategies for cultivating this skill in one’s life. Here are a few main points discussed from the book from the ideas and the rules:

1. Shallow Work vs. Deep Work: The modern work culture is filled with distractions that make it difficult for people to engage in deep work. Shallow work, which is characterized by tasks that are easy to replicate and don’t require much concentration, has become the norm.
2. The Value of Deep Work: Deep work is a skill that allows individuals to produce high-quality work, learn quickly, and master complex skills. It is becoming increasingly rare and valuable in our economy, as shallow work becomes more vulnerable to automation and globalization.
3. The Four Rules of Deep Work: In order to engage in deep work, one needs to follow four rules: work deeply, embrace boredom, quit social media, and drain the shallows.

4. Work Deeply: To engage in deep work, it is essential to create an environment that supports focus and concentration. This may involve setting aside specific blocks of time for deep work, eliminating distractions, and creating rituals that help signal the brain to focus.
5. Embrace Boredom: The ability to tolerate boredom is crucial for deep work. By learning to embrace boredom, individuals can reduce their dependence on shallow work and train their brains to focus for longer periods of time.
6. Quit Social Media: Social media is a major source of distraction for many people, and quitting it can free up valuable time and mental energy for deep work. Newport argues that social media is not essential for success, and that the benefits of deep work far outweigh the benefits of staying connected online.
7. Drain the Shallows: To create more time for deep work, it is important to reduce the amount of shallow work in one’s life. This may involve delegating tasks, outsourcing work, or simply saying no to low-value tasks that don’t contribute to one’s overall goals.
8. Deep Work in Practice: Newport provides examples of individuals and organizations that have successfully implemented deep work practices, and offers strategies for making deep work a sustainable practice over the long term.

To start applying these ideas, I’ll limit the time on my mobile phone in my daily life and with more concrete plan for each day’s focus to reduce the shallow work. Together with the good habits I have already created in my daily routine I’ll have more room for deep work with clear purpose.

“The Four Agreements” is a self-help book written by Don Miguel Ruiz, which presents a set of guidelines for achieving personal freedom and happiness. The book draws on the wisdom of the Toltec civilization, an ancient civilization of Mexico that valued wisdom and knowledge.

The four agreements are as follows:

1. Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid speaking negatively about others or spreading gossip.
2. Don’t take anything personally: What others say or do is a projection of their own reality. Don’t take it personally or allow it to affect your own self-worth.
3. Don’t make assumptions: Communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings. Don’t assume that you know what others are thinking or feeling.
4. Always do your best: Do your best in everything you do, regardless of the circumstances. Don’t compare yourself to others or judge yourself harshly.

By following these agreements, the book argues that individuals can achieve personal freedom, happiness, and a sense of purpose. Ruiz also emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, the power of belief, and the role of self-love in achieving personal growth.

“The Four Agreements” has been widely acclaimed for its simple yet profound teachings, and has been embraced by many as a powerful tool for personal transformation. The book’s universal message and accessible writing style make it a popular read for anyone seeking to improve their life and achieve greater happiness and fulfillment.

What have I learned from this? Firstly, it’s not just about speaking impeccably to others, but also to myself by offering positive affirmations about life and the daily challenges I encounter. Secondly, it’s essential to remain peaceful and unaffected by what others say since their words do not hold significance in my life. Thirdly, it’s crucial to be attentive and listen actively. Lastly, I must always strive to do my best, regardless of the circumstances, as putting in the effort and achieving fulfillment is more important than the final outcome.

Tuesdays with Morrie is a memoir by Mitch Albom, published in 1997. The book is based on the author’s experiences with his former professor, Morrie Schwartz, who was dying of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. The book is structured around a series of Tuesday meetings that Albom has with Morrie, who imparts his wisdom and insights about life and death to the author.

The book opens with Albom seeing his former professor on a television program, and realizing that he had not spoken to him in over sixteen years. Albom decides to pay Morrie a visit, and they begin to reconnect. Morrie tells Albom about his diagnosis with ALS, and Albom is shocked by the news. Despite the physical limitations of the disease, Morrie remains optimistic and philosophical about his impending death.

The book is organized around the weekly meetings that Albom has with Morrie on Tuesdays. During these meetings, Morrie talks to Albom about various topics related to life, death, and the human condition. They discuss topics such as love, forgiveness, family, community, aging, and the importance of meaningful relationships. Morrie’s insights are often based on his personal experiences, and Albom is struck by the depth and breadth of his former professor’s wisdom.

As the weeks progress, Morrie’s physical condition deteriorates, and Albom is forced to confront his own mortality. Through his conversations with Morrie, Albom learns to appreciate the simple things in life, and to value his relationships with others. Morrie’s teachings help Albom to reconnect with his estranged brother, and to rebuild his relationship with his wife.

As the book reaches its conclusion, Morrie’s health deteriorates rapidly, and he becomes increasingly dependent on his caregivers. Despite this, he remains cheerful and philosophical until the end. Albom is present at Morrie’s death, and is deeply affected by the experience. He realizes that he has been given a gift by Morrie, and that he must use his newfound wisdom to help others.

Tuesdays with Morrie is a powerful and moving book that explores the meaning of life and the importance of human connection. Through Morrie’s teachings, Albom learns to appreciate the small moments in life, and to value his relationships with others. The book is a testament to the enduring impact that one person can have on the lives of others, and is a reminder that life is precious, and that we must cherish the time we have with the people we love.

Well, above summary was generate using ChatGPT. After reading my feeling is life is short and every day counts. Think about it, you might have additional 30 years healthy time which maps to around 11000 days, so first don’t get bothered by the past and don’t waste any time on meaningless things, second do more exercise to extend that healthy time both physically and mentally, third spend more time with people you really care. The purpose of life is a life with purpose.

The Lean Startup offers a framework for startups to test, learn, and adjust their strategy through cycles of continuous improvement. The core of the framework is Build-Measure-Learn feedback loop to learn what customers really want and verify the assumptions to the value hypothesis and growth hypothesis through validated learning. A few key notes here.

First it can be learnt. A startup is a human institution designed to create new product or service under conditions of extreme uncertainty. Its success can be engineered by following the right process which means it can be learnt and entrepreneurship is one kind of management.

Second the goal of a startup is to figure out the right thing to build – the thing customers want and will pay for as quickly as possible. Any action that does not contribute to learning about what creates value for customers is a form of waste. So the right question to ask is “Should this product be built?” and “Can we build a sustainable business around this set of products and services?”. Success is not delivering features, instead success is learning how to solve the customer’s problem.

Third the products a startup builds are really experiments. The learning about how to build a sustainable business is the outcome of those experiments. Test the most important assumptions (value and growth hypothesis) first with a minimum viable product towards early adopters with experiments to enable the cycle of Build-Measure-Learn. Measurement with right metrics matters, you need a clear baseline metric, a hypothesis about what will improve that metric, and a set of experiments designed to test that hypothesis.

Fourth common tools for adoption. Split-tests help you quickly identify what features matter to customers and which do not, continuous deployment releases small new features all the time. The 5 Whys to figure out the real root cause of failures.

The book starts with stories to tell us that doing well with money has nothing to do with how smart we are and a lot to do with how we behave. At the same time knowing what to do tells us nothing about what happens in our head when we try to do it. This is important as it means we all can do it and knowing is not enough but the real actions matter. There are about 20 topics in separated sections and here I categorize them into four major ideas.

First main idea is humble and forgiveness. We all think we know lots about how real world works but in reality we’ve only experience a tiny sliver of it. Also each one’s experience is unique so it’s normal to see vast different view on same topic. Considering the role of luck and risk we should be humble when things work well, and show forgiveness/compassion to us and to others when things go wrong. Less ego will lead to more wealthy and know when to stop is important. Remember controlling your time is the highest dividend money pays.

Second main idea is to understand the confounding compounding. Earning pretty good returns that you can stick with which can be repeated for the longest period, that’s when compounding runs wild. It’s not about making all good decisions but consistently not screwing up. It’s not about be right every time, actually we’ll be wrong frequently, but how much you win when you’re right and how much you lose when you’re wrong matter. So increase the time horizon and become OK with a lot of things go wrong.

Third main idea is save money, pay the price and like the risk. Saving is the first step towards invest and nothing worthwhile is free. So doubt and regret are common costs in finance world that worth paying to learn. Think them as learning fee not fine. Also it’s the risk itself where the opportunity come from. And remember life is not consistent and surprise will always there.

The fourth is room for error. We have to take risk to get wealthy but no risk that can wipe us out is ever worth taking. Growth is driven by compounding, which always takes time. We have to survive to succeed, so avoid the extreme ends of financial decisions.

Last but not least. There are common traps which blocks us take the right action. For example the more we want something to be true, the more likely we are to believe a story that overestimate the odds of it being true. We have an incomplete view of the world but we form a complete narrative to fill in the gaps. Learning them to avoid making repeated mistakes.

This book shares common habits which holding successful people back to their next level and the framework to overcome them. Even it’s framed as helping successful people to become more successful, these traps are applied to all of us, successful or not. The difference is that it might be harder for successful people to realize or accept these given the past success.

The book starts with section to explain the trouble of success that why past success might be obstacle for future success, following that it listed common twenty behaviors that hold people back. Then it shares the 7-steps framework for change and then suggestions for leaders to apply the changes and know when to stop.

First, most things have two sides and the success in the past could be trouble to our success in the future. There are four key beliefs that help people becoming success including “I Have Succeed”, “I Can Success”, “I Will Succeed” and “I Choose to Succeed”. But these also makes it tough for us to change and these beliefs carries us here my be holding us back in our quest to go there.

Then it comes the twenty common behaviors which block us to be open, take responsibility, be humble, build connection, keep positive, look for win-win and etc:
1. Winning Too Much: The need to win at all costs and in all situation when it matters or not at all.
2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussions.
3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “No,” “But”, or “However”: The overuse of negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right, you’re wrong”.
6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool
8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts when we weren’t asked.
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Cling to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events an people from our past.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me”: Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.

Each person will have different challenges at different time to tackle, while change itself is not easy even after we accept and decide to change. So the author shares a 7-step method to change interpersonal relationship and make change permanent including Feedback, Apologizing, Telling the World, or Advertising, Listening, Thanking, Following up and Practicing Feedforward. This will help you to be open to area you need improvement, change other’s perception, take concrete steps and look forward to future.

With the framework the book adds more rules for leaders to change including Start Now, Focus on right one, Measure the progress, Be flexible, Face the truth and etc. Also it shares some special challenges for people in charge, particularly it’s impossible to fix people who think someone else is the problem. Eventually we cannot change others and only themselves can.

So what’s my next habit to change?

Leadership is not science but art which is highly situational. This book discusses a few contrarian principles to help leader break free of the wisdom of the herd. Theses principles are not dogma but can be useful reference to guide us. Overall the book is a little bit hard to read compared to other books, simple words are not always used and the content in each chapter is not that well structured for easy understanding. Nevertheless it won’t affect the true value of these principles if we put into practice.

Think Gray and Think Free: Think gray is to avoid forming firm opinions about ideas or people unless and until you have to. Think free is to think several steps beyond to contemplate really outrageous ideas and only subsequently apply the constraints of practicality. This will help leader to avoid his established prejudices and be creative and open.

Artful Listening: One important skill for leader is to understand other’s thinking. So listen first, talk later and when you listen, do it artfully. Think gray will help you to listen different inputs openly and also know when to stop listening.

Experts: Experts can be helpful but they’re no substitute for your own critical thinking.

You Are What You Read: Again the importance of reading books and particularly for the supertexts including The Princes, Republic, Hamlet, Antigone and etc. to learn about some timeless truths about human nature. Only read things that matter.

Decisions, Decisions: Again the decision making. The suggestion is to never make a decision yourself that can reasonable be delegated to a lieutenant and never make a decision today that can reasonable be put off to tomorrow. Delegating authority while retaining ultimate responsibility, artful procrastination, ignoring sunk costs and taking luck into account are finest traits during decision making.

Give the Devil His Due: The contrarian leader won’t be naive about the people and circumstances he’s dealing with. Many decisions will be very complex and the leader must discern the pitfalls of various options and choose the best on offer, knowing that there is no perfect solution. Don’t unnecessarily humiliate a defeated opponent.

Know Which Hill You’re Willing to Die On: Moral and ethical concerns insinuate themselves into almost every aspect of leadership. Know what matters most to your beliefs and your choice may at some point require you to retreat from all the surrounding hills.

Work for Those Who Work for You: This is the one I firmly believe in. For majority of time the lead should do everything you can to help your direct reports succeed. Choosing the right people, motivating them, supporting them, helping them grow, inspiring them, evaluating them and firing them are among the most important things a leader does.

Follow the leader: Leaders don’t really run organizations, rather leaders lead individual followers who collectively give motion and substance to the organization.

Being President vs Doing President: Don’t delude yourself into thinking that people are intrinsically better or worse than they really are. Working to bring the best of your followers while minimizing the worst.

With practice and flexibility, principles will help you become a more effective leader.